Why Mummy Drinks is the brilliant novel from Gill Sims, the author of the online sensation Peter and Jane. It is Mummy´s 39th birthday. She is staring down the barrel of a future of people asking if she wants to come to their advanced yoga classes and polite book clubs where everyone claims to be tiddly after a glass of Pinot Grigio and says things like ´oooh gosh, are you having another glass?´ But Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who ´live for their children´ and stand in the playground trying to trump each other with their offsprings´ extracurricular activities and achievements and boasting about their latest holidays. Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering ´FML´ over and over again. Until she remembers the gem of an idea she´s had.... 1. Language: English. Narrator: Gabrielle Glaister. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/hcuk/003106/bk_hcuk_003106_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Why Mummy Swears is the much anticipated new novel from Gill Sims, author of the hilarious Why Mummy Drinks and online sensation Peter and Jane.It’s every parents’ nightmare - the start of the school holidays - and instead of sitting in the sun, reading a book over a cold, crisp glass of Pinot Grigio, Mummy has two bored moppets to attend to. After frantically booking sports camps, child minder slots, not to mention time off work, Mummy is exhausted. But this is only the beginning....After being dragged to join the school’s PTA in the new term by an annoyingly kind-spirited neighbour, Mummy is stuck with organising the Christmas Fayre and pleasing all the overly disapproving parents. In combination with getting to know her father’s surprise new glamorous (and much younger) wife and being forced to spend more time with her narcissistic mother, life isn’t cutting her much of a break. What more could possibly happen? 1. Language: English. Narrator: Gabrielle Glaister. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/hcuk/003987/bk_hcuk_003987_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
What could be crazier than a 2,000-year-old Egyptian mummy detective moving in next door? How about: An army of brainwashed baboons? A flying bandaged dog’s bottom? A talking cat goddess? An evil sorcerer from another world? Somehow Niall Rivers has got to deal with all of them. Still, it’s not the end of the world.... Is it? 1. Language: English. Narrator: Steve Cole. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/oakh/000570/bk_oakh_000570_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Deep in the Egyptian sands lurks the lost pyramid of an ancient Egyptian pharaoh, known throughout history for his bountiful lusts but lost to the mists of time. Or is it? Because who else would unearth the tomb but Jonathan Woodcock, infamous up-and-coming monster shagger?! Witness Jonathan’s rump-pounding adventures as he delves deep into the darkest places, wrestles with the tight restrictive bindings of the mummy, and comes face-to-crotch with the preternatural charms of an ancestral deity of carnal knowledge. Will Jonathan ever be able to overcome The Curse of the Mummy’s Wang? (No, he won’t, he’ll end up having a lot of sex with it!)Tales of Monsterotica A line of comical erotic romps featuring the classic and not-so-classic monsters of book, stage and screen, written by Justin MacCormack, author of Diary of a Gay Teenage Zombie and Hush: A Horror Anthology. The Curse of the Mummy´s Wang is a 14,500-word novella. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Hedge T. Haiden. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/158743/bk_acx0_158743_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Cindy was a cougar. She was also mother of a 19-year-old rugby playing college student. And when Gary brought the team home...well, Cindy had to entertain them in the only way she knew how. One thing was bound to lead to another! Excerpt: The walk through the house was another treat for the unsuspecting young man. I was leading for a reason. My younger years as a lap dancer had allowed me to perfect rolling my hips as I walked, and I knew his cock would be hard by time he put the wine down. We got into the kitchen, and I quickly turned to face him, catching the boy by surprise and making him take a step back, up against the center island. My eyes dropped, and I confirmed he was indeed packing a very impressive erection. For such a slim young man, it was bloody enormous. His eyes were, of course, still locked on my 38DDs, and I decided to up the ante. It took only a slight and imperceptible shrug of my shoulders for the lightly tied bathrobe cord to unravel and my gown to gape open, exposing my firm boobs to the tips of their cherry pink nipples as well as my muscled abdomen and freshly shaven haven. ´´See anything you like?´´ I asked cheekily. ´´But Mrs Lukas. You´re Gary´s mum,´´ Martin gasped. 1. Language: English. Narrator: C J Edwards. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/074365/bk_acx0_074365_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Mummy´s Still Here is the sequel to Jeanne D´Olivier´s novel Mummy Where Are You? If you saw the film Spotlight, you will find this book equally horrifying and compelling. It demonstrates the corruption and flaws in the family court that allow children who have alleged abuse to be placed with the abuser and the horrors of life for a mother who cannot protect her child because the agencies set up to protect children are often responsible for covering up abuse and protecting abusers. This novel tells the harrowing story of how a mother who reported the sexual abuse of her son was persecuted by the system and eventually lost her child to the very person he alleged had abused him. Charlotte continues to fight for her son through a series of endless court hearings and against all odds, leaving no stone unturned in her attempt to save her child and bring him home safely. The story begins where the last novel left off with her having lost everything, but having recently been released from jail where she was incarcerated for fleeing from those who were determined to take her beloved child and place him in the hands of the one person he said had harmed him. Mummy´s Still Here is based on a true story...and is written for all mothers in Britain today who have lost children through no fault of their own and in the most horrifying of circumstances. Most of all, the novel is a testament to the love Charlotte has for her little boy and to show him that Mummy is still here. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Eleanor Dobing. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/057270/bk_acx0_057270_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
A friend has vanished, a mummy´s amulet is missing, and there´s a weirdo out there looking for human brains and hearts. The Chicagoland Detective Agency - run by Megan, Raf, and his talking dog Bradley - have more than enough cases on their hands (and paws). But where to start? Megan´s too busy for private-detecting. Her haikus won her tickets to meet the drop-dead gorgeous rock star Sun D´Arc. Raf is sure that Sun is too good not to be really bad. He must be involved in one of their cases. And what about Sun´s suspiciously familiar manager? Or the pushy new girl at school? Can Bradley, dog genius, pull his team together and sniff out what suspect goes with which case? 1. Language: English. Narrator: Book Buddy Digital Media. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/lrnr/000055/bk_lrnr_000055_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
The truth is out there. Way, way, way out there! Drew Lawson is racing against the clock. He´s got a twenty-four-hour window to authenticate the mummy of Princess Merneith. If he´s not at his boyfriend´s garden party when that window closes, it´ll be the final nail in their relationship coffin. The last thing he needs traipsing on the final shred of his patience is brash, handsome reality show host Fraser Fortune, who´s scheduled to film a documentary about the mummy´s Halloween curse. The opportunity to film a bona-fide professor examining the mummy is exactly the aura of authenticity Fraser needs. Except the grumpy PhD is a pompous ass on leave from his ivory tower. Yet something about Drew has Fraser using a word he doesn´t normally have to draw upon: please. With no time to waste-and a spark of attraction he can´t deny - Drew reluctantly agrees to let Fraser follow his every move as he unwraps the mummy´s secrets. Soon they´re both making moves behind the scenes that even the dead can´t ignore… Warning: Whoso shall ever open this tomb, er, book shall suffer the curse of the Pharaohs. Okay, maybe not. But set aside a chunk of time for marauding mummies, too many cosmopolitans, illicit sex in hotel rooms, and other non-academic shenanigans. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Sean Crisden. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/022920/bk_acx0_022920_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
When an unexpected find is made in the deserts east of Luxor, Chyna Stone and the Found History team are brought in to help with the excavation of the Chambers of Ay. As they explore the underground maze of forgotten corridors and hidden passageways, they become keenly aware that there is much more to this discovery than meets the eye. A discovery that reaches down through the ages. It´s called the Egyptian Book of Life - an ancient, and priceless text dating back to the rule of the Pharaoh Djoser - and Chyna and her team might just have stumbled upon a clue to its final location. Now hot on the trail, Chyna and her team travel through Egypt and Turkey and parts unknown, soon coming into contact with a secret society of men who are sworn to protect the secret of the Book of Life and its location. But when treachery is discovered among her team, Chyna will find herself on the run...all while following a cryptic trail of clues that will lead to the Book of Life...or to her death. But Chyna Stone is no ordinary archaeologist - she´s an adventurer through and through - and she will do all she can to preserve history and to protect the lives of those she cares most about...all while uncovering the true secret of The Mummy Codex. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Heather Ross. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/035617/bk_acx0_035617_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.